Friday, October 22, 2010


A few nights ago, I felt overwhelmed and frustrated with our two legged child, T.  Just over a year ago, came to us from her mother's neglectful home and has struggled with relationships, school, friends.  Trust and honesty are daily struggles, and understandably so.  Her 12 years of life have been difficult to say the least, the past 3 years in her mother's home away from us, even more so.

T's on the cusp of becoming a "poor me" girl or of choosing a path of strength and positivity.  I can't make this choice for her, though.  And as a parent, stepping back and allowing learning to occur is tough.  I'm certainly not giving up on her, but she needs to learn some things the hard way, through experience.  Natural consequences and outcomes from action.  I suppose that's just allowing her to grow up.  How do parents learn when to do this?  Is there a manual, a guide, a website?  I keep trying to reference my own childhood, but then I get smacked with the realization that this young woman is not me and needs to navigate the world through her own lens.  

So after a long day of work, and then struggling with T, I still had to find dinner for myself.  I knew one of the only places open was that horrible, evil mecca of grease and sugar - McDonald's.  I try to avoid eating this kind of "food" as much as possible, as I know it's akin to rat poison.  Matt knew how frustrated and upset I was and suggested that I go get my "food" with Arwen.  Now why hadn't I thought of that?  I don't normally take the dogs on quick trips like that, but there was no reason not to.  Arwen's  mostly well-behaved in the car, and I knew she'd appreciate the ride and the olfactory hits off the drive-through window to laying about in front of the TV.  

She loves getting into cars so very much.  On our walks, we sometimes run into a parked and open Jeep Wrangler down the street which is almost irresistible for her - clearly an open invitation!  She gets into spring mode by the door and I have to tug her away to avoid breaking and entering!   So off we went. Arwen sat in the backseat of my car, the night air revitalizing her nostrils and my soul.  It was a joy to get away.  I felt the pressures of parenthood slip away and lowered the window some more.  I'll definitely take her on mini-trips more often.  Arwen pressed her head on my shoulder, drool dripping down my arm.  And with that, she reminded me to take the good with the bad.  What's bit of drool, anyway?


  1. I have a 12 year old - I know what you mean. She is a great kid aside from the sarcasm, rolling eyes, etc. I can no longer tell her what to do - I can only advise her and set examples for her. I tell her all the time part of becoming a responsible person is suffering the consequences of her actions. She went against my advice recently and it almost cost her a friend. Lesson learned (painful for me too).
    Noodles' Mommy #2

  2. I'm sorry life's been tough on you and T.
    I hope it all gets better soon! But it's part of teenage life. Everyone goes through it.
    Glad to hear a bit of doggy company and slobber made you feel better :)

  3. That look soooooo makes the khall on what's a bit of drool amongst furiends!

    PeeEssWoo: Mom says sorry about the human puppy issues - she knows that is a diffikhult age fur some especially with various other fakhtors

  4. I think that's what pooches are good for. I teach teenagers, but I cannot imagine what it might be like to have my own. Good luck with everything...sometimes tough love can be good.

  5. Hey kiddo thanks for stopping by.
    Benny & Lily

  6. I'm sorry that you're having a rough time with T. I'm afraid that I'm not the one to offer advice, having had little experience except with two young nephews who live nearby.

    But, I do know that some simple time with a loving dog can help me feel better after almost anything! Who cares about the drool?

    I love your story of how much Arwen loves cars - trying to get into ones on the street! My dog, K, is scared of riding in the car so I have the opposite situation!


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