Fulfillment

At the clinic where I work, we have a high energy canine patient.  To respect his privacy, we'll call him "Abe".  Abe obsesses over rocks.  He chases and chews them, desperate to get his mouth around them -  rocks, of all things.  How do I know this?  Not only is his owner at his wit's end with this annoying behavior and told us all about it, but just recently this poor pooch was put under anesthesia to have his teeth cleaned.  At that point, the extent of his obsession was made fully apparent.

Not Abe, but you get the idea...

Each and every tooth was worn down from years of grinding on rocks.  There was extensive damage done, and his teeth were ground down to pulps - a fairly painful progression.  We scaled and polished them, advising Abe's owner to keep him away from the dreaded rocks.  His owner revealed to us that Abe loves to chew on rocks in the backyard.  I asked him if he takes Abe on regular walks.

No.
Dog park?
No.
Doggie day care?
Nope.
So Abe's only outlet for his high energy is rock chewing.
Poor dog.

All I could imagine was that feeling of having drank too much coffee, and then trying to fall asleep.  (For me this would have to be a whole coffee pot, but you get the idea.)  Tossing and turning, feeling your skin crawl as you readjust your position for the 18 millionth time.  Horrible.

This got me thinking about how I meet my own girls' needs.  Do I meet them?  Are they bored?  Frustrated?  I imagine they tolerate quite a bit of boredom and frustration, but they do so with grace.  I know Nyxie particularly needs more exercise to release her anxiety and drive to work, and as my physical endurance grows, her walks and runs grow longer.  It's a big responsibility to meet your dog's needs and give them a full life.  A few hugs and pets on the head after an 8 hour absence just isn't enough.  If you're unable or unwilling to exercise them, pay someone else to do so, or engage them in games that work the brain!  Doggie daycares and dog walkers are everywhere - you just need to get creative!

So if you love your dogs, you'll not keep them around purely for your enjoyment, but you'll let them do those things that let them maintain balanced dogness.  You know, the things you may not want to, but you know they'll love.  Like when Matt wants to watch a an episode of Mythbusters to nurture the science nerd inside of  him, when I'd rather be piercing my eyelids!

True love requires consideration and at times, sacrifice.  
Living with a dog is a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

Perspective

I have an odd 1/2 day from work today and have been fairly excited at the prospect of a morning to myself to do myself kind of things - blog, read, maybe sleep a bit more.  The universe had other plans for me.  I woke to the fragrant odors of poo and 2 angelically sleeping dogs.  Hm.  I suspected Arwen as she had some loose stool last night and she's not very good at letting me know that she needs to go out in the middle of the night.  As I waited the 6 minutes until my alarm was set to go off, I started my day off worrying about Arwen and trying to remember if I had enough paper towels on hand for my impending cleanup task.

No breakfast for them today - 24 hour fast.  This will not be a popular concept with the canine in this family.    I started the cleanup process, took Arwen out twice each time she pleaded to go out (both times were unfortunately quite goopily productive) and then dropped the kiddo off at school.  I drove straight home, forgetting to pick up more paper towels.  Frustration level rising.  More blotting, spraying, scrubbing.  Another foot away and I'd have been wiping the poo off the tile and not scrubbing carpet.  More frustration.  I heard the dogs romping in the other room until Nyxie came rushing in to me whining, as though she needed to go out urgently.

"Fine!  I'll just drop everything and take you out!", actually crossed my mind.  Now very frustrated.  Coat on, out we went, long wait to inspect the perimeter, sniff each blade of grass, and finally a little runny stool.  Hm.  Maybe they are both poorly of the tummy?  Frustration combined with worry now.  We went back inside and the girls started romping again.  But this time, just steps away from where I was cleaning.  I finally yelled, "ENOUGH!!" and they flattened as though I'd launched a grenade.  And to them, I suppose I had.
"I wonder what we did?  Our tummies are feeling better!  Yeah!"
" I stewed some more, but this time, my thoughts were drenched in guilt.

Instead of being joyful that my girls were feeling well enough to play, I was concentrating only on the fact that I was inconvenienced. They have hurt tummies and I am yelling at them for making my morning less than what I was hoping it would be.  I should have been rejoicing in the fact that I could take them out this am and give them the opportunity to get the ickiness out, rather than cleaning it up at the end of a long day.  They would have had to endure their own diarrhea in their crates for the hours we were away.

So now with the mess cleaned up and the poo wave seeming to have subsided, I will have to snuggle in with my girls and make up for my yelling outburst.  I know I am already forgiven, being that they are dogs and I am human.  They will snuggle in beside me and just enjoy our time together, not concerned about my morning's negative perspective, the need for forgiveness, or the paper towel shortage.  They are simply, and gracefully, dogs.  

Hope

Hope is a forward-looking longing.  A moment to seek something beyond ourselves and to see it in a positive light.  I have the feeling that this coming year will bring change.  And I have hope that this change will be good, long-overdue change.  My blogs have been few and far between as of late, a symptom of my mood, I'm afraid.  Every time I've sat at this computer and decided to blog, I've had writer's block.  Not for a lack of trying, but nothing noteworthy has really happened.  Or so I've felt.  The routine has been monotonous and I've felt in a rut.  The girls have been doing fine, same routines as always, the kiddo's been mostly good and the job's the job.  So why discuss hope now?

I can't pinpoint exactly how things have already changed, although I know there's been a turning away from negativity.  There've been moments of despair and frustration, particularly involving Matty's work, T's behavior and the ever-heavy financial burdens that never seem to improve significantly.  All of these things, along with the negativity of several particular individuals has weighed heavily on me as of late.  What I've realized just recently is that it's not these influences that have become louder, but the amount of volume I've allowed them to have in my universe.

Each day, Arwen eats first.  A nod to her queen-bee status.  She is the Elder, the Deserving, the First.  Nyxie can't help but voice her displeasure.  She'll whine softly from the other room, impatiently awaiting her chance at yummies.  Arwen's focus is like an arrow knocked on me.  There exists nothing in her world save the singular (yet complicated) act of creating and serving her dinner.  Her blue eyes trained on me, watching my every move. There exists no whining, she is the only dog on the planet.  What I see in those ice blue eyes is hope and focus.  She has a goal and she will not stop until it's won.  Poor Nyxie in the other room, seemingly forgotten.  But she's far from forgotten.  Arwen is quite aware of her and if I were to bring Nyxie into the room, Arwen would shoulder her away and let her know in no uncertain terms that she is in the way!

There are goals that I've formed for the coming year.  Spiritual, professional and financial.  Like Arwen, I must have this singular focus.  There will be distractions, there might be negativity, but how much of this do I allow in?  Can I keep my eyes forward and shoulder away intrusions?  A born leader, Arwen's a great example.  Even the whining from the next room can be ignored.  I am looking forward, with the hope and focus of a Husky at dinnertime.