Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A Look Forward

With each new year that blazes in, I inevitably look back at the past year and try to settle my personal scorecard. 

Did I make positive changes?  
Did I grow as a person?  
Was I a good parent more often than a bad parent?  
Was I a stronger person than the year before?  
Did I learn new skills and evolve professionally?  
Did I come closer to becoming the daughter my late father would be proud of?

I suppose there's no denying that in even asking these questions, I'm still striving for better.  I don't want to be envious of those that have more than me.  I don't want to feel jealous or spiteful or negative.  I don't want my pride to overshadow the good that I do.  Sometimes it's painful to look around at all those things you think you need and want.  And worse still to feel there's so much left unaccomplished and stymied in seeing that potential through.  

It's these moments that I look down and realize that only inches from my typing hands, lies the velvety soft muzzle of a sleeping puppy.  The black nose is pressing tightly to my leg, and I hear the soft inhale and exhale of each life-sustaining breath.  I remember that this is a good moment.  One that will never repeat itself.

It's in these moments that I know:

I made positive changes.
I grew both cognitively and emotionally as a person.
I was a parent that acted out of love, the root of which is goodness.
I found both physical and emotional strength deep within myself that allowed me to pick myself up.
I strove to do my best possible job, to care when others were indifferent, and prevail over injustice.
I thought often of my father and what he would want for me and from me as a woman of worth.

It's in these moments that I realize the past year is just a marker of time.  Each day signifies the start of a new year, and each year is what you make of it.


  1. Very well said. It is so easy to see all that I don't have and want/need. Something about those soft muzzles and quiet breaths help to put in all in to perspective, don't they?

    Happy New Year and every day that is to come!

  2. Bravo! So well assessed and written! On the scorecard, dear friend, you have NOTHING to hang your head over...you make me proud to know there are still noble souls out there (and even prouder to know you are my friend)!

  3. A beautiful post. It really makes one stop and think!

  4. That...simply put...was beautiful. May 2012 be a wondrous and healthy year for you all!

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    Sorry for the long comment! Have a great day!

  6. There is something amazing and supportive about their unconditional love.

  7. Your posts are always so sensitive and thoughtful. If you bring that same sensitivity to your everyday life, which I'm sure you do, you're doing a fabulous job on this planet. I appreciate your good heart and soulful words. Happy New Year to you and your pack!

  8. What a beautiful post. Here's to a year of blessings.:)

    Teddy Bear & Sierra

  9. Great post - and a really good way to look at things. :)


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